u and me, but mostly me

When you’re an outsider trying to break into the upper echelons of the pop world, it doesn’t hurt to have Charli XCX in your corner. Wales-born, Toronto-bred singer Charlotte Victoria, aka ELIO, wrote much of her first EP before she connected with the UK alt-pop star through their mutual manager, but it’s easy to hear why Charli eagerly signed on to be her sounding board during the recording process. Like her idol-turned-mentor, ELIO embraces a maximalist pop aesthetic—absorbing future-soul electronics, finger-snapping R&B, and bedroom-indie authenticity—that serves as a protective shield for the raw confessionals concealed within. On *u and me, but mostly me*, her smooth hooks lure you into frank discussions about the anxieties of leaving home to pursue your dreams, the perils of long-distance romantic relationships, and the dissociative effects of being extremely online. “It\'s really just a huge encapsulation of the last few years of my life,” ELIO tells Apple Music. “Every song kind of represents a different year, a different month, and a different experience.” Here, ELIO takes us through her musical diary, page by page. **My Friends Online** “I spent the last year kind of going back and forth between LA and the UK, so I haven\'t really hung out with my friends, and a lot of my social life is on my phone. I just remember being in a session last November and feeling like, \'I\'m just so sick of looking at my phone!\' I spent a lot of my time in LA working, so I don\'t really have like a social group there. And it was just so crazy to stop and think about it for a second: I spend *hours* a day on my phone. I might be building relationships with friends that I already have, but it\'s kind of hindering the life that I\'m living in LA. I have friends that I\'ve never met that I consider pretty close because I follow them online—that\'s pretty common among my generation. So this song is about how it\'s okay to be social through your phone, but kind of learning when your phone is serving you and when you\'re serving your phone—there\'s a very fine line.” **Body Language** “This is kind of the same idea as \'My Friends Online,\' just a little more homed in on my personal relationship. My boyfriend is a musican too, so he goes on tours, and I obviously travel, so we\'re learning how to be together and translate that to when we\'re not together. There have been so many situations where we\'ve had disagreements or fights over something that would\'ve totally translated in person, but because it was over text, it was misunderstood. We crack jokes a lot, and we\'re very sarcastic, but sometimes, I can text something that\'s a joke, and because he can\'t see that I\'m smiling when I send it, it comes across as probably not that nice.” **u and me, but mostly me** “I wrote this when I had just gotten back together with my boyfriend after we had broken up for a few months. It was a weird time, because we were figuring everything out—we were in this weird honeymoon phase. The title is kind of a play on \'it\'s not you, it\'s me,\' and it\'s about analyzing yourself and how you act in relationships and also looking at the other person, and finding that balance between being levelheaded and just kind of like flipping out.” **sunday :)** “I was about to get back together with my boyfriend, and he was playing a show, and it was on a Sunday. We were still broken up and I was like, ‘Well, maybe if I go, we\'ll see each other, you know...and then we might get back together.\' So it\'s about me showing up and supporting, but there\'s also this motive behind it.” **Waste of Emotion** “I wrote this in January when I was in Sweden, and it\'s about how bad my anxiety was. It was my second-last day there and I had 13 hours of flights I had to catch to get to LA. I\'m not terrified of the act of flying, I\'m just scared of people in enclosed spaces and not being able to leave a situation. So I was absolutely crippled with anxiety for the days leading up to it. I get to travel and I get to have all these amazing experiences, but it also ends up being such a mental struggle that I can never really take in the moment. I feel like that\'s a really horrible way to live your life, especially when, you know, I\'m lucky enough to have those experiences.” **LA in Two** “I only went to LA for the first time last year, and I just absolutely fell in love with it, and the people and the producers I met there. Every time I\'m there, I\'m booked with sessions, so it\'s always really fun. I\'ve always had a fascination with California, even when I was a kid—it\'s so pretty and so warm there, and so freezing in Canada. I just love LA and the music scene there—it just seems a little more open. I had this perception of LA being this very music-business place where dreams go to die, and I don\'t know if it was luck, but I ended up having the complete opposite experience and I pretty much only have good times when I\'m in LA. But it sucks too, because I get there, and I love the weather and the people, but my family and my friends aren\'t there, so \'LA in Two\' is about going there, loving it, but also the anxiety that goes with starting your career. It can be a little bit lonely. It\'s kind of a rollercoaster, this music thing. But I love it.” **Haircut (Reputation)** “This is about when I broke up with my boyfriend. My best friend\'s a hairdresser, which is amazing when you\'re in quarantine and you need your hair done, but not so great when you\'re emotionally fragile and you\'d do anything for change. And so I cut my hair and dyed it white. It wasn\'t that bad, but it was definitely a time in my life where I felt like I needed to do something just to do something.”