Lost In A Rush Of Emptiness

When you experience your musical breakthrough in the midst of a global pandemic, chances are you might develop an unusual way of working. Such was the case for Bleach Lab. Having felt the first UK lockdown descend shortly after the release of their second single, “Burnt Orange,” the London/Brighton-based four-piece had become used to piecing together their glittery brand of indie rock via virtual means. “There were points in time where we had recorded and released songs that we hadn’t yet played in a room together, which was very strange,” vocalist Jenna Kyle tells Apple Music. “There was a lot of work to do in making those songs appropriate to play live, and for \[this debut\] album, something we really discussed from the start was wanting to be together for the entire process, to capture that raw feeling.” Working with producer Catherine Marks (boygenius, Foals, Wolf Alice), Bleach Lab finally got their wish, using the studio as a place to grow closer as a unit. The fruit of their open-spirited labor is *Lost in a Rush of Emptiness*, a cinematic, unapologetically melancholy exploration of the big questions, challenges, and romantic decisions that shape early adulthood. The shoegazing sound of their early EPs has broadened out into something fuller, poetic even, taking its title from Leonard Cohen’s posthumous poetry collection *The Flame*. “Over time, it’s a phrase that just felt right, like the feeling of when you find out some awful news, that gut-dropping moment of losing control,” says Kyle of the album’s title. “A lot of the song’s themes are of those turning points in your life; the rush of conflicting emotions, dread, or emptiness which we can all seem to relate to in some way or another.” Here, she takes us through the record’s lyrical inspirations, track by track. **“All Night”** “I have a bit of a sadistic obsession with true crime. I don’t think there’s one Netflix documentary about murder or conspiracy that I haven’t watched. I am so used to writing lyrics about my very personal experiences and, although that can be cathartic in a lot of ways, it’s quite emotionally draining. So this time, I took it a little bit out of the box. It’s a song about love and not feeling wanted, but then I was like, what if she just lost her mind and killed him? My biggest concern was that people were going to think that I’m actually some sort of sadistic serial killer, but it was just a fun exercise to expand and experiment with my writing a little bit more.” **“Indigo”** “We have a lot of back-and-forth as a band when it comes to choosing singles. There’s a lot of heated debates and decisions that then get changed the next day. With a debut album it’s especially daunting, because you want the first single to really set the tone. Having gone a bit poppier on our most recent EPs, we just wanted to go straight in for something that we thought made it clear that this was going to be more of a live-sounding, raw-sounding release. ‘Indigo’ feels like one of the best examples of us—a great introduction to Bleach Lab.” **“Counting Empties”** “Josh \[Longman, bassist\] and I share a lot of the songwriting. As a singer, I really appreciate making room for his words and his thoughts because he’s got a lot to say and a lot of valuable things to explore. ‘Counting Empties’ is written from his perspective, quite a personal experience of how his past actions and alcohol usage have had an effect on his relationships and friendships. It’s a bit of a plea to your partner: feeling unlovable and weak because of your dependence, asking for patience and understanding, but also knowing that that’s probably too much to ask.” **“Saving All Your Kindness”** “This is my favorite song on the album, mostly because of how it helped me. I wrote these lyrics coming to the end of a draining and sometimes emotionally abusive relationship. It’s all about feeling so exhausted, but avoiding talking about your problems because they always end up in an argument. The person I was seeing was known for jumping from people to people quite regularly, and that sort of sparked the idea of wondering what they were holding back—are you not giving me the love and commitment and affection of a long-term relationship because you’re just saving your energy for the next person? It was a lot to work through, but looking back, I couldn’t have encapsulated how I was feeling better than I have in this song.” **“Everything at Once”** “This song had a great response from everyone we showed it to during the recording, but I will admit that the chorus is quite vocally challenging to perform. We don’t have any spoken word in any of our previous songs either, but I am here to embrace the new! Essentially, it’s about being at war with your own choices. Josh says that he sees the contrast between the verses and the chorus as being two different mindsets; the part that accepts unhealthy relationships and allows them to consume you, and then the chorus, which is about trying to talk some sense back into yourself and remember your true self. It’s an ‘angel vs devil on your shoulder’ kind of thing.” **“Nothing Left to Lose”** “We’ve had a bit of a water metaphor flowing through our songs for a while. Maybe it’s because I live by the sea, but I take a lot of inspiration from stormy days, from water being such a beautiful but terrifying body. I was very inspired by a picture I saw of ocean and freshwater meeting—this natural phenomenon where two really strong forces come together but don’t quite mix. It’s basically about the beginning of a relationship—being afraid for what’s to come so you keep your guard up and can’t quite figure out how to connect. It’s a heavier song for us as well, and really fun to play live.” **“Never Coming Back”** “This was written around the same time as the relationship in ‘Saving All Your Kindness,’ realizing the catastrophic end where you’re not quite sure that you were ever meant to be. I write a lot of my lyrics very visually, and as I was thinking about everything that was going on and that I was going through, I kept seeing a burning car flipping through the sky, which made it into the lyrics. But then I also sing another of my favorite lines on this album: ‘Your hands on my skin don’t mean a thing if they’re not in love with what I hold within.’ I like a good metaphor, but I also like to be quite literal about things sometimes too.” **“Smile for Me”** “This was definitely the most challenging song to write. I didn’t want to speak for other people, but I don’t really know many people—many women—who haven\'t had some sort of horrible experience, usually with a man, where they’ve been made to feel extremely uncomfortable and afraid. You feel like you owe them something, even if that’s a smile, just so that they don\'t turn on you and increase the level of danger. Encapsulating that feeling in just a few verses and a chorus was quite hard, but it’s basically a callout. If you’re doing any of this, if any of this relates to the way that you are acting, we are aware, and you need to change. ‘Must be hard to think/We don’t owe you anything’—I repeat that lyric in the chorus because I want it to stick. It’s an important message to stand for.” **“Leave the Light On”** “‘Leave the Light On’ is about the exhaustive experience of dating in the modern world as a monogamous person. Every short-lived whirlwind fling, you go through the same thing over and over, trying to create a long-term emotional connection but repeatedly getting disappointed. I was single for four years maybe, just searching for that little nugget of consistency or commitment in people that weren’t able to provide emotional availability. It’s a song about trying to allow yourself to be vulnerable and asking that person to stick around for you, but also trying to be accepting that they probably won’t. It’s still a poppy one though!” **“Life Gets Better”** “From start to finish, this album explores some really deep emotional dirt, bringing up a lot of dark feelings and memories. Josh wrote this one, and it’s inspired by that feeling of chatting to someone who maybe isn’t the best at giving advice, who listens to your problems but then just says, ‘Oh, never mind, things will get better.’ And it’s like, ‘Oh thanks, guess I’m sorted now!’ Closing on that note of sarcasm feels really fun for us, and it was great to record. We didn’t actually have an ending planned for it, so I just kept repeating the closing lyric and they kept playing the outro until it all felt right.” **“(coda)”** “It’s our debut album. If you can’t add an extra bit of drama now, when can you? This track really helps to round out the whole record, to create atmosphere and bring the story to a close.”